A wonderfully wacky collection of poems for children of all ages. Includes My Cat (the Vampire!), Spider on my Ceiling, Zits, I Want to be Five and The Abominable Snowdrop!

From touching to hilarious, there’s somethiing for everyone!

Where did Zits’n’Bits come from.  Now that’s a good question.  To start with, I would always be making up silly little rhymes for children.  Then they wanted to hear their favourites again and again, but as I’d made them up on the spot, it wasn’t always so easy!  So I started to write them down.  Inspiration came from everwhere.  I’d walk past a sign and my mind would start wandering – which it has a tendencyto do anyway – and a poem would be flowing.  Then it would be a race to find somewhere to write it down before it had gone!  A small pad and pen are a lifesaver in times like that.

The cover was drawn by my seven year old daughter and features her personal favourite – My Cat the Vampire.

Now even parents have their favourites, and can even identify with some (Solomon’s Bedroom, for example).  A few of the poems are poignant (I Want To Be Five), one or two are a little bizarre (My Sandwich), a couple are a touch gross (Zits) and there are those that are just plain silly (Camels).

Hopefully there’s something to entertain everyone.

You can read excerpts from Zits’n’Bits below, and can buy the ebook from the following places:

Smashwords Amazon UK Amazon US   Barnes and Noble  Diesel   and in paperback at:









Autographed print edition copies of Zits’n’Bits are now available direct from the author!  Please visit the Bookstore!

Excerpts from Zits’n’Bits:

It started off
As a bit of a zit.
A bit of a zit,
That’s it.

It was a little bit red,
With not much of a head,
And not really sore,
Really, nothing at all.
At least,
That’s what it was like,
When you went to bed…

A sock was the first,
Probably the worst.
It came under cover of night.
It seemed a gentle soul;
In the heel was a hole
And its colour was yellow and bright.

But the floor wasn’t fooled
It knew socks came in twos.
So it waited for this sock’s mate,
But, by then, it was done
The war already won,
When it started it was already too late.

I picked it up
And brought it in.
I gave it some milk to drink.
And all of the while,
The cat was debating
In which part of my body
Its teeth it could sink!

There’s a spider sat on my ceiling.
I’ve watched it all day
And I’ve watched it all night.
There’s a spider sat on my ceiling
And I’m not letting it out of my sight.

I wonder
When I close my eyes,
Does the world go to sleep?
I wonder, if it does,
What does it count,
Instead of sheep?

I want the important things
To be cartoons and toys
And the most, bestest fun
To be making some noise

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